jeffrey

i like butter, don’t you?

Entries Tagged as 'odd'

Jalopy juice

October 1st, 2007 · 5 Comments

Last weekend I had Rod’s Porsche 993. Holy shit!

I felt like a cock in the city streets. The pedestrians mocked me. When a young hippy and I crossed paths he called me a wanker, and a wanking motion ensued as he walked across the street.

I thought that was a bit redundant, hippy!

I shrugged my shoulders. After all I was driving a car that demands confidence, a sort of affluent indifference that can only be bought.

I loved it. Now I think I will move to somewhere desolate where dead animal skulls line the highway. I need a fast car.

In an unrelated manner Xero is hiring and we’re looking for an HTML and CSS uber-guru. Here’s the pitch. Go on, apply! :)

Popularity: 46% [?]


Popularity: 46% [?]

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Tags: american-ism · catholic-ism · dream · guilt · jeffrey-ism · kiwi-ism · life · odd

Fergus the fungus

August 26th, 2007 · 4 Comments

“Sorry,” he said. I moved my ski poles out of the way. This ski lift is slow.

“No worries,” I said.

“You sound funny. Are you American?”

“I’m from Chicago. Do you know where that is?”

“No, but I’ve been to America. My dad took me to Tennessee last year to see Elvis and my Uncle.”

“Cool. Did you have fun?”

“Yea, but we won’t go back this year because my Uncle is dead.”

“That’s… horrible.”

“…”

“So what’s your name?”

“Jeffrey. What’s yours?”

“Fergus. But people call me fungus.”

“Why do they call you fungus?”

“I’m not sure. It’s just a nickname.”

“Oh. Do you like that nickname?”

“Yea, I don’t mind it. I think it’s funny. Do you have a nickname?”

“Some people call me fingers.”

“Fingers? That’s weird.”

“I guess it’s a little weird.”

“…”

“How old are you,” he asked me.

“How old are you,” I asked him.

“Guess,” he said.

“10?”

“No.”

“5?”

“Nope.”

“8?”

“Nu-uh!” He laughed.

“6?”

“11?”

“9?”

“Yes!”

“Well. Can you tell I’m bad at guessing ages? So how old do you think I am,” I asked.

“26?”

Little bastard. But I don’t think I’ll forget him.

Popularity: 16% [?]


Popularity: 16% [?]

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Tags: jeffrey-ism · odd

Life is Scrabulous

August 10th, 2007 · 2 Comments

I’m addicted to Scrabble. Instead of blogging or reading or breathing or sleeping I play Scrabble on Facebook. This was my most intense game:

Proud Scrabble

She placed hurdles as the first word, which used all the letters in her rack. The total score was 78 points. By the end of the game I won with 320 points (she had 271).

I enjoy playing Scrabble with Richard as well. His vocabulary is dirty, and I blame one-eyed Meg for his choice of playful words.

Dirty Scrabble

And this was my strangest game.

Average Scrabble

I feel like I’m in a hole, and I can only climb to freedom on a stairway made of Scrabble tiles.

Update: Mashable has a post about the popularity of Scrabble. I’m not surprised!

Popularity: 21% [?]


Popularity: 21% [?]

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Tags: jeffrey-ism · odd

Cutlery, meet Head

March 24th, 2007 · 7 Comments

While walking down Cuba street I thought, “How fat do you have to be to become bulletproof?” Wouldn’t that be something! Suddenly, I heard someone say whack and something hit the back of my head.

Popularity: 26% [?]


Popularity: 26% [?]

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Tags: catholic-ism · guilt · jeffrey-ism · odd