Currently viewing the category: "memory"

Sheepishly docking & covering

by Jeffrey on June 6, 2009 · No Comments · in jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory, odd

The setting: At a party.

“And that’s when I learnt about castrating and docking sheep1,” I said. “The poor little guys. It looks painful.”

“I know the feeling. You know between the two of us there’s a total of three testicles,” he said.

“…”

“Are you suggesting that I only have one testicle?”

“No, I’m assuming you’re a healthy male,” he said.

“What happened? Did you leave a sharpened pencil in your pocket?”

“No, I had cancer.”

“…”

“Well at least you can sympathize with being castrated, I guess.”

“True. It’s painful. Maybe next time I’ll say I left a sharpened pencil in my pocket. That’s funnier.”

1. To dock a sheep is to cut off its tail.

Hawai’i 2009

by Jeffrey on April 5, 2009 · 4 Comments · in american-ism, jeffrey-ism, memory, patriotism

For the past few weeks I’ve been in Hawai’i, on the beach, usually watching surfers. Tough life.

North shore surfers

I could only watch the surfers because I’m just a beginner. Those waves look small but they’re easily 12 feet high. I saw a man’s surfboard snap it half.

Some other remarkable memories from my three week vacation:

  • a street peddler attempted to sell me tickets to a shooting range where I could fire “real guns”
  • a customs official asked if I brought marmite. I asked if it was illegal, and she said, “No, I just don’t like the stuff. Yuck.”
  • some Hawaiians are fat. Bigger than midwestern fat. I think their island genes compound the fatty foods
  • a stranger gave me a lift, and I asked him what to see in O’ahu. He said, “I don’t know. I usually drink with my friends. It’s safer that way.” I didn’t ask
  • my parents and I saw lava flow into the ocean at Volcano National Park

I mostly slept in the sun. It was so warm…

Mount Ngauruhoe

by Jeffrey on February 14, 2009 · 4 Comments · in jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory

Here’s another photo from last weekend.

Mount Ngauruhoe

You can still see the snow at the summit of the mountain. The black dots in the bottom right of the photo are hikers walking the Tongariro Crossing.

Tongariro Crossing

by Jeffrey on February 10, 2009 · No Comments · in jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory

Last weekend I walked the Tongariro Crossing. This was my second time, and the weather was perfect.

Me in front of a dramatic landscape

My toe! My toe!

by Jeffrey on January 25, 2009 · 6 Comments · in jeffrey-ism, jinxed, memory

I broke my toe three weeks ago. I have a spy at the hospital who pulled my file and sent me the x-rays via PXT.

Here’s the whole foot, notice the break in the pinky toe.

I broke my toe

And here’s the break.

Close up of my toe

How did I break it, you ask?

By saving the life of a child standing in the middle of the road. He was almost hit by a bus!

Actually I hit my toe on the edge of my couch. I heard the crack, too.

I thought I had strong bones from all the milk I drank as a kid. I guess not.

Christmas 2008

by Jeffrey on December 26, 2008 · 2 Comments · in jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory

After Christmas dinner we played a game of Cranium.

“Spell pilates backwards, one letter at a time,” Vicky said.

“Oh shit,” Corrina said. “I can’t spell.”

“I’m sure we’ll do fine. I’ll start,” I said. “S.”

“E,” Rich said.

Now it was Corrina’s turn. She looked at the ceiling and said pilates. She thought.

“T?”

“Yup that’s right. A.”

“L,” Rich said.

Now it was Corrina’s turn. She looked at the ceiling again and said pilates.

“…”

She mumbled pilates. Pi-la-tes.

“…”

“R?”

“…”

“Is she serious?” Rich asked.

“I think we just lost.”

Summer in Wellington

by Jeffrey on December 13, 2008 · No Comments · in catcher, jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory

The weather in Wellington is as volatile as the New Zealand currency rate. Yesterday was freezing. But today:

Suicide man

Very refreshing! And the pōhutukawa are in bloom by Waitangi park.

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Yesterday night I went to a birthday party. The theme was “Hollywood.”

I went as the red carpet.

Now I have three meters of red felt. I didn’t think that one through.

Thanksgiving dinner 2008

by Jeffrey on November 16, 2008 · 3 Comments · in american-ism, jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory, patriotism

This year I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at Craig and Catherine’s home. This was the menu, taken from Catherine’s blog:

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Thanksgiving Dinner 2008

Toasted Le Moulin baguette with:
Cream cheese & caramelised onions

Roast turkey with wild rice & cranberry stuffing
Kumara & orange gratin
Coleslaw

Apple pie & cream
Christmas fruit mince pie

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Catherine made everything from scratch, even the coleslaw! Here’s a photo of my adopted family in Wellington. Catherine (the chef) and Craig (the sous-chef) are on the right:

The start of dinner

And here we are at the end of dinner, waiting for dessert:

Look at those pies

So good! It reminded me of dutch apple pie, without the cinnamon.

Thank you so much C & C, it was superb!

Photos from Queenstown & Milford Sound

by Jeffrey on October 24, 2008 · 5 Comments · in catcher, jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, life, memory

I shot eight rolls of film on my holiday and here are a few:

The view from my room in Queenstown

This was one side of Mitre Peak in Milford Sound

There are hundreds if not thousands of waterfalls in Milford Sound, and the captain had a wet sense of humor

Bloody fun

by Jeffrey on June 11, 2008 · 7 Comments · in jeffrey-ism, jinxed, kiwi-ism, memory, speech

Last night I met Vicky, Neil and Anouk for dinner.

On my way to Crazy Horse1 someone threw a water balloon out of a window and it nearly hit me. It landed next to my right leg.

I looked up at the sky and shook my fist! They were out there somewhere! It was probably the same person who hit the back of my head with a fork.

I thought I escaped embarrassment. But during dinner, Vicky said, “You should go salsa dancing.”

“I don’t salsa dance,” I said.

“Why not? They always need more men.”

“The last time salsa danced I kicked the toenail off my date.”

“Ouch!”

“I had to make a tourniquet out of a napkin for her bleeding toe,” I said.

“Right,” Vicky said. “I always forget that story!”

Salsa dancing confuses me because there’s too much stepping. One wrong move and bang! She loses a toenail.

If I tried again, I would make her wear steel-toed boots. Not very sexy, but safe.

1. Crazy Horse is an excellent steak house in Wellington. I had filet mignon. In New Zealand “filet” is pronounced “fill it.”