“It’s one of my favorites,” I said.

“I know, right? Can you believe a girl saw it tonight and called it a sissy red?”

“She did? Why’d she do that?”

“Because she’s a bitch.”

§

I met an American from Chicago this week, and we talked about the city and the experiences of moving to New Zealand. She said, “After telling someone I’m from Chicago, I hate when they say ‘from one windy city to another’ or something else about the wind.”

20 minutes later we were standing in a circle, with strangers. Someone asks her, “So where in the states are you from?”

“Chicago,” she said.

“From one windy city to another, eh?”

If you’re moving to Wellington from Chicago, expect a lot of wind talk. Whether you like it or not, it’s where our cultures try to connect.

§

Next Friday I’m flying to Chicago for a seven week holiday. If any of my kiwi friends want something from America, let me know. I have a large suitcase.

Besides watching the polo, I:

• “bid” in my first charity auction, which raised money for the Ronald McDonald House
• played roulette in the Christchurch Casino, and walked away a winner
• drove along the Summit Road by Lyttelton
• walked through the Christchurch Art Gallery and smelled the roses in the botanic gardens

The polo started before noon and I was nervous. What was the etiquette? Was the match like the scene from Pretty Woman? Are we expected to stomp divots with hookers? Should we bring extra change to give to the poor, as if we were tossing stale bread to pigeons? Polo has that air about it.

When we arrived I snuck inside the marquee for reconnaissance. I registered our names and we were allocated seats for lunch, which was served after the second chukka.

Watching the game was fun because I’m scared of horses. When the polo “ponies” galloped past me, my heart skipped a beat. Horses are big.

During the fourth chukka a player was hit by a polo mallet. After he dismounted, his hands tried to catch the blood falling from his nose, without touching his nose. So I guess it was broken. He forgot his harden up pills at home so he was replaced with another player.

§

Last night was the New Zealand premiere of The Lovely Bones. We found a good spot along the red carpet outside the Embassy and waited for Peter Jackson and Susan Sarandon. It was my first movie premiere.

Sometimes living in New Zealand is exciting.

• celebrated Keith’s birthday in Martinborough
• ate Thanksgiving at C. & C.’s house with other members of my New Zealand family. So good! I had two helpings of turkey and two slices of pie for dessert. The evening ended with short blacks and port as the digestif
• joined a gym

And to briefly recap this year’s blogs I:

• broke a bone in January and pierced my ears in October with Amber
• travelled to Hawaii to see my parents, attended Mark and Jill’s wedding in Ireland, visited Sarah and John in London and backpacked my way through the South Island with Dan
• sold photographs at the New Zealand Affordable Art Show in Wellington. This was the first time I sold work to anonymous consumers
• modelled shirts for Webstock. This was the first time I modelled anything

This year has been better than average. I’ve snapped thousands of photos and some of them are worthy of the wall.

Work is good. Xero has grown so much since January 2009. During the past few months we’ve developed Xero Personal, a tool to help manage personal finances. Xero Personal makes me giddy.

At the start of each year I make a list of achievable goals for the next 12 months. The list reminds me to think about the future and throughout the year I endeavour to achieve each goal. Ordered by the level of difficulty, here is a rough guess at the start of my 2010 list:

• fire a gun. I’ve never fired a gun. Apparently an American who hasn’t fired a gun “should be shot”
• travel to a new continent. This will either be South America, Africa or Antarctica
• place first in a poker tournament. This is difficult as it depends the level of skill in the tournament
• publish a short story. This goal is old, and never marked as achieved. Finishing stories is difficult for me
• gain five kilograms. Fat chance, I hope

I rarely achieve an entire list. Gaining five kilograms will be impossible. But damn it I’ll try!

I hope you make goals and think about the future. Life is too short to fart around.

• You should buy swag from the Webstock shop. They’re comfy and hip. And who’s modeling the men’s shirts?
• I sold work at the New Zealand Affordable Arts show in Wellington. There were 563 artists in the show and together we made $992,000
• I attended Mark and Jill’s wedding in Ireland last month. The wedding was beautiful and I am so happy they invited me
• Dan visited me for two weeks this month. We flew to Christchurch, hired¹ a van, and drove around the South Island. Highlights include hot springs, glaciers, fjords, beaches and sheep
• Amber and I pierced our ears

§

It was great seeing Dan. We met at 15. He drove me to school in the morning. His car was a broken station wagon covered in bumper stickers, bonnet to boot.² What I remember from English class is learning the word “dilatory” and thinking “that’s Dan.” Back then, he was always late.

Especially in the mornings, we usually left late for school. It made me nervous, you know, as we studied in a Catholic high school and God burns kids who are late to class. So on the drive I was usually uneasy.

Then he would stop for a bacon-filled bagel.³ Torture. When we parked I would run to class and he would saunter. He charmed the teachers with piety and respect, so they all adored him, like he was a joy to have in class.

My relationship with the faculty was strictly master/servant. Once my math teacher, Mr. Glennon, rummaged through my bag and took out my gym shoes. He opened the window and chucked them outside during an exam. The class stared. I think he was trying to break the tension. He looked me in the eyes, raised his arm and pointed at the window. He said, “Get your shoes.” The class snickered.

I dove through the window headfirst.

Master, servant.

<sub>1. rented
2. hood to trunk
3. I know I’m skinny, but his appetite is impressive. On our trip he ate all the time</sub>

Milford Sound waterfall

Vicky

Jill and Niamh

Each print is 50 centimeters square, framed and signed.

I wasn’t sure how to price them so I leaned more towards affordable. I’ve always wanted to exhibit my photographs so this opportunity is exciting. You can see more of my work on Flickr.

Wish me luck!

She’s 18 years old, irritable and set in her ways. She has a routine and I must follow it, or she roams the hallway crying like a banshee. It’s pretty cute.

The tips of her ears were cut off because of skin cancer. She doesn’t shed hair, she molts. And sometimes she smells like urine.

I’ve been tweeting about my days with the cat for the last three weeks.

As her days are limited I try to make her happy. I hope she lasts until this Thursday, which is my last day housesitting.

“And that’s when I learnt about castrating and docking sheep¹,” I said. “The poor little guys. It looks painful.”

“I know the feeling. You know between the two of us there’s a total of three testicles,” he said.

“…”

“Are you suggesting that I only have one testicle?”

“No, I’m assuming you’re a healthy male,” he said.

“What happened? Did you leave a sharpened pencil in your pocket?”

“No, I had cancer.”

“…”

“Well at least you can sympathize with being castrated, I guess.”

“True. It’s painful. Maybe next time I’ll say I left a sharpened pencil in my pocket. That’s funnier.”

_{1. To dock a sheep is to cut off its tail.}

I could only watch the surfers because I’m just a beginner. Those waves look small but they’re easily 12 feet high. I saw a man’s surfboard snap it half.

Some other remarkable memories from my three week vacation:

• a street peddler attempted to sell me tickets to a shooting range where I could fire “real guns”
• a customs official asked if I brought marmite. I asked if it was illegal, and she said, “No, I just don’t like the stuff. Yuck.”
• some Hawaiians are fat. Bigger than midwestern fat. I think their island genes compound the fatty foods
• a stranger gave me a lift, and I asked him what to see in O’ahu. He said, “I don’t know. I usually drink with my friends. It’s safer that way.” I didn’t ask
• my parents and I saw lava flow into the ocean at Volcano National Park

I mostly slept in the sun. It was so warm…

You can still see the snow at the summit of the mountain. The black dots in the bottom right of the photo are hikers walking the Tongariro Crossing.