This post is in the “30 days of me” blogging extravaganza! I’ll blog every day for around 30 days.

Nicknames you have and why do you have them

I’ve been called many things throughout my life.

At Xero Catherine calls me Jif, like the peanut butter. When Dan was here he heard this and started calling me Juf.

Most vowels in New Zealand are soft, so pen sounds like pin, deck sounds like dick, and Jeff sounds like Jif, which is why she started calling me Jif, I think.

In my previous job my colleagues called me Fingers. Fingers is a dirty nickname.

They called me this because when I type, my fingers dance in a blur of movement. I’m that fast. Also we had an arcade machine and I was the king of Bomberman, due to the dexterity of my digits.

When I worked as a seasonal fruit picker I had the most racist nickname. Most of the seasonal workers are pretty poor. A lot of them were Maoris.

One day out in the field I took my shirt off, which caused two immediate reactions from my fellow fruit pickers.

The Maori women had an uncontrollable urge to feed me. At the time you could count the ribs on my back, and most of the women were lucky to see their toes if they looked down. They were pretty big. The only reason they didn’t run towards me with buckets of chicken is that they were too busy crying.

You see, the light from the sun reflected off my back and straight into their eyes. They raised their hands in front of their faces as if the light would make them spontaneously combust. It was like they never saw a white boy before. Their knees buckled under the weight of their laughter and they cackled, “Boy! Look at you! You’re just like Casper the ghost you are!” Today if I drove up north they would still call me Casper.

These nicknames I’ve earned in New Zealand so all of my other nicknames are from high school and grade school. My last name, Wegesin, is hard to pronounce compared to Smith or Harrison and this is a problem when students call each other by their surnames. Saying Wegesin is like stumbling forward because someone tied your shoelaces together when you weren’t looking.

So instead of Wegesin my friends in school called me derivations of my name that highlighted how ridiculous it was, like Wiggisandro, Wegglelasecki, Wiggilopolis.


2 Responses to 30 days of me – 19

  1. Katie says:

    The only reason they didn’t run towards me with buckets of chicken is that they were too busy crying.

    This made me laugh out loud. Potentially I CACKLED.

    CACKLE is a good word. I like how you backdate these so that posterity will think you were super diligent.

  2. Jeffrey says:

    I’m hungry for chicken. There’s no food in this house!