In my bedroom I have a bed, but that’s it. No dressers, drawers, tall boys, low boys, bedside cabinets, wardrobes or scotch chests. I only have one laundry basket that I use as a bucket for my socks. My closet is full and my clothes are disorganized, a mess, they compete with my feet for floor space.

I’m almost thirty so I should buy furniture, be mature, poop poop. Shopping annoys me and I’m a designer, so I’m picky and I like expensive things. For two weeks I’ve looked through magazines and stores to no avail. I complain to friends.

“I’m trying to find bedroom furniture. It’s so hard,” I whine.

“What kind?”

“Anything. I’m not sure. The more I read the more I’m confused.”

“Confused? Confused about what?”

“Wood and joints.”

Did I just say wood and joints in the same sentence? Yes Jeffrey, yes I did.

After weeks of agony I bought a scotch chest from a factory in Christchurch, the city in tatters from the recent Canterbury earthquake. Poor me and my shopping problems, right?

I told a friend about my purchase. “I finally bought a scotch chest for my room. I found a great deal,” I said.

“That’s good to hear,” he said.

“I should have it in a week. It’s being shipped from Christchurch.”

“What? Will it be smashed with free bricks in the drawers?”


8 Responses to Proud Dolly

  1. Katie says:

    Did you already pay for the scotch chest? Maybe you should offer to trade them for some matches and a can of beans.

  2. Jeffrey says:

    I did pay for it. I think the supplier was okay, he didn’t mention the earthquake when I spoke to him. But I would never part with my beans anyways!

  3. Keith says:

    Err, I’m sure “the friend” meant no disrespect to the victims of the awful events down south, but hey, yahh for furniture for Jeffrey

  4. Jeffrey says:

    Of course! No disrespect was intended, I’m sure of it.

  5. Carolynn says:

    Hi Jeff! Love your blogs. They make us (Grandma and I) laugh out loud. She wants me to pass on some info to you. You should be receiving some salt water taffy from Vermont Country Store. Could you please let me know when it has arrived so that I can tell Grandma? Thanks! We love you! I hope you use your chest for clothing and Grandma says to be sure you put mothballs in it. Do you have those there? I know you don’t have Crayola crayons, so she was just thinking out loud.


  6. Shannon says:

    I hope you are at least doing your laundry and brushing your teeth.

  7. Jeffrey says:

    Carolynn! Thanks, I’ll let you know when the box arrives. I’m not sure we have moth balls, well I haven’t seen them, but I can check. Love you too!

    Shannon, yes. I brush my teeth more than I go to church. And I do my laundry every weekend. Miss you!

  8. Flick says:

    hahahahha you are alway so funny :) I like your story. You make a great minimalist… maybe?!