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They told me you wouldn’t need to do this. But I don’t believe them!
This is the correct RSS feed: http://feeds2.feedburner.com/JefWeg
Stink!
→ No CommentsCategories:jeffrey-ism, jinxed
The setting: At a party.
“And that’s when I learnt about castrating and docking sheep1,” I said. “The poor little guys. It looks painful.”
“I know the feeling. You know between the two of us there’s a total of three testicles,” he said.
“…”
“Are you suggesting that I only have one testicle?”
“No, I’m assuming you’re a healthy male,” he said.
“What happened? Did you leave a sharpened pencil in your pocket?”
“No, I had cancer.”
“…”
“Well at least you can sympathize with being castrated, I guess.”
“True. It’s painful. Maybe next time I’ll say I left a sharpened pencil in my pocket. That’s funnier.”
1. To dock a sheep is to cut off its tail.
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The setting: My desk.
The time: Sometime after coffee but before lunch.
The chief offender: Rod Drury.
ยง
My phone receives a text message:
“We will probably go to drink around 4. Do you have a lot of work today?”
I look at my phone. It’s sitting on my desk. As my hand moves from the keyboard to the phone, time slows. From out of nowhere, Rod swoops down like an eagle, and within a jiff his talons dig into the guts of my phone, lifting it off my desk.
I see his index finger slide across the surface. He has successfully unlocked my iPhone.
His fingers work it over. He responds:
“It’s Jeff’s boss1 here. He works until 5.”
Slave driver. The nerve! To think I have to work all day.
At least the message was innocent. I thought an iPhone was a full-proof mechanism against Rod. I guess not. The rumors are true — His fingers are in all the pies.
Now if I leave early he’s going to notice!
1. Not only is he the boss, he is the CEO of Xero
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