Happy 50th birthday, Helvetica (the font)!
How I despise you. You remind me of a slutty Aunt that dresses like a slutty teenager.
Before I argue against using Helvetica, please read my disclaimer1, and be delighted with this joke:
Two fonts walk into the bar, and the barman says, “Sorry lads, we don’t serve your type.”
Now, look look at these five posters:
What do you see?
I see Mr. Potato Head, and his bucket of lameness. Sure, you can pull out his eyes and rearrange his body parts, but in the end he’s still a potato, and he’s boring. The posters try to be unique, and fail. I can almost hear each designer, “Make this bold. Now tighten the leading. Perfect! Look at texture, look at the form!”
I want to barf.
To me Helvetica is like the Microsoft Frontpage of fonts. Using it requires as much skill as sky diving - just jump out of the plane, pull a cord and presto! To some, this is a good thing. The International Herald Tribune writes:
[the people] have become amateur typography experts by choosing our favorite styles from the fonts menus on our computers2.
Amateur typography experts?3
The BBC also chooses to celebrate the beauty and simplicity of Helvetica:
There are hundreds of choices [fonts], but many of these movers and shakers don’t take a lot of leafing before plumping for Helvetica.
Before plumping for Helvetica?4 The article continues:
“It doesn’t have an expression of fashion… it looks like a very serious typeface,” says Frank Wildenberg, managing director of Linotype, the German firm that owns the font.
So it’s seriously unfashionable. I couldn’t agree more! Leave it to Bush and Cheney to put the Hell back into Helvetica.
(Notice how the bumper sticker is bold, with tight leading. How original!) I loathe your simple beauty, Helvetica! You make any chump a typographer!
1. This discussion is as important as whether you should fold or scrunch toilet paper before wiping your ass
2. Thankfully Microsoft excluded Helvetica from Word 2007 and yet we still have Wingdings. Why, Bill, why?
3. Does this make sense to anyone?
4. Am I missing something? Again, does this make sense to anyone?
Popularity: 52% [?]
17 responses so far ↓
1 emily // May 12, 2007 at 9:27 am
Just when I sort of forget that you’re a graphic designer - not that I think it’s a bad thing, it’s just that I always think of you as more of a fine artist - you make a blog entry all about how you hate a font.
But speaking of, remember the Key Note Speaker at our FAA graduation ceremony? The guy that created Zapf Wingdings? That was cool. Too bad the room we were in was made so that the sound would project outwards towards the audience, so I couldn’t hear a word of his speech, which was FOR US. When it was over, my mom and dad both said, “Wow, wasn’t your Speaker just great? How interesting!” And all I remember was not being able to understand what he was saying, and instead looking at all the different interesting hoods the professors were wearing. Memories…
2 emily // May 12, 2007 at 9:30 am
Ok, I just read the fine print at the end of your entry and now I am totally laughing about my comment. In fact, I think you should reply to this comment with Zapf Wingdings! Or Zapf Chancery! Hurrah for ridiculous fonts!
3 Jenna // May 12, 2007 at 2:23 pm
I just don’t understand why places like Crate and Barrel would use Helvetica to create a logotype and not change a SINGLE THING about the font to make their “logotype” into a “logo”. Because you’re right, any chump can use Helvetica. I don’t dislike it, it’s very clean and appropriate in some cases, but I prefer Univers condensed if I have need for a bold, clean sans serif. Also, I think Helvetica looks stupid in ital. I’m just sayin’ is all.
4 Jenna // May 12, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Also I hate most extended fonts. Yessireebob.
5 Jeff // May 12, 2007 at 6:27 pm
You’re right, I’m more of a fine artist, like you… and I probably should say I don’t hate Helvetica, but I would use it if I needed to get something done quickly and have it look good.
Emily you’re so funny! Your memory is better than mine, I hardly remember graduation. Weren’t there bag pipes? I know Mr. Zapf was there but I forgot - did he even speak? Like you said I couldn’t hear anything. My parents make me drink a bit too much sake, I only remember waking up in my room wondering where my family went.
6 Jeff // May 12, 2007 at 6:33 pm
I don’t like extended fonts either. I didn’t know Crate and Barrel used Helvetica… it’s also used for the New York subway system. I don’t know why so many companies insist on using it when there are more interesting and personable fonts out there…
7 kaiser // May 12, 2007 at 8:57 pm
amen to that. i never understood the hype around helvetica. maybe it’s what ruby on rails is to web dev. actually, i hope not, because that would make RoR ubiquitous…sick.
i personally love rotis, and it seems a lot more folks than i would’ve thought have taken a liking to it. like sears. minion is a fave too. but i don’t have an eye to tell if it’s being used or who’s using it. rotis has particular quirks that give it away, so yeah.
whatevs. i’m an amateur designer.
8 Jeff // May 13, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I like Rotis too, mostly because it’s available in different serifs. There are many people in New Zealand that rave about ruby, it sounds like you might not like it? But you’re a PHP person right? Lately I’ve liked Filosophia, as fonts go…
9 shannon // May 14, 2007 at 5:55 am
that graduation speech was wonderful. even i remember it.
jeff- just read the anti-american entry. remind me to take you to some ıraqı hangouts thıs summer. ıve lıstened to antı-amerıcanısm for years. ı dıdnt fully respect or understand ıt untıl recently.
xo
shannon
10 emily // May 14, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Steve still needs to mantra me out of wanting to rear-end people with that bumper sticker on their cars.
I called in sick to work the day after the ‘04 elections. My boss asked what I was sick with, and I said, “Worry.”
It’d be pretty awesome if Bush only used Helvetica font on his correspondence, except that every “H” had a little American Flag trailing behind it, like his bumper sticker. Because you know, he’s a Real ‘Merican, With Them There Flag, Yee Haw!
11 Jeff // May 14, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Sick with worry, ha! That’s brilliant. I wish Americans wouldn’t elect Texans into the presidency. The country’s policies always turn into poo.
12 Jeff // May 14, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Shannon - why aren’t the i’s dotted in your comment? In a typography entry as well!
What’s the anti-american entry? I looked on your blog but I can’t find it?
13 Jenna // May 16, 2007 at 9:18 am
Have you guys ever used DIN? It’s a nice one, too. But I have never heard of Ruby….why? Is it a PC thing? Also, I don’t remember Zaph talking at our graduation, either. I only remember him coming and speaking to our little class. And how little and shaky and ADORABLE he was. Is he still alive? But I definately remember the most awesome bagpipes in the world….the fine arts program at U of I has to have the most amazing graduation ceremony of them all. I wanted to kill myself at the chemical engineering one. Even Dave said it sucked. Megan’s a married woman!
14 Jeff // May 16, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Hey Jenna - Ruby is a coding language, like Java or .NET… I don’t know too much about it, but it’s all the hype in the developer circles. Even in New Zealand
The bag pipes were so cool. You would like it in New Zealand, because when university classes graduate the students march through the city streets, and they’re led by bag piping people… I saw it the first day I arrived in Auckland. I thought it was pretty hip…
15 Shannon // May 21, 2007 at 2:55 am
I meant that I read your entry about anti-Americanism. The one where you were talking about whinging, or whatever that word is.
Turks have a dotted i and an undotted i. Sometimes I forget to change my keyboard back over and I type as if I’m on an American computer. Sorry!
16 Jeff // May 21, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Ah! An undotted i? What’s going on over there? Any news? I wrecked my car - again. That’s the third broken car I’ve owned. I had it towed to a mechanic and they called and said it was fixed. When I picked it up I drove home and halfway there it broke down again. I hate cars.
17 Niamh // May 25, 2007 at 11:31 am
Hey got your email. Dont think ill be able to make it over for that trip. Havn’t actually booked my flights yet as im waiting to see if my mate is coming with me. Going to a festival that weekend aswell but should be leaving that week. If im on my own i might just head straight to you guys for a visit then head back to oz to travel my way back. Its still very much up in the air at the moment but im defo coming to see you! Keep some time free mid to late sept and ill confirm things as soon as possible! How are things?
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