jeffrey

i like butter, don’t you?

via Twitter: "are you willing to sit in an emergency exit row? how old are you? 29? geez! you could fly the plane! you look young, good for you." 29 mins ago

Entries from April 29th, 2007

You’re so vainApril 29th, 2007, 14 Comments

From my notes in November of 2003: “You paint with your left hand,” she said. “I thought you were right handed?”

“I am,” I said. “I just paint with my left hand.”

“How interesting. Which hand do you use to shoot a gun?”

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→ 14 CommentsCategories:american-ism, jeffrey-ism, kiwi-ism, patriotism, patriotism, rants

Bowling callsApril 26th, 2007, 6 Comments

This week I made a reservation for a bowling lane. “Hi, I’d like to make a reservation,” I said.

“Sure, how many lanes and how many people?”

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→ 6 CommentsCategories:american-ism, intolerance, kiwi-ism, speech

Burn baby burnApril 20th, 2007, 17 Comments

I woke up this morning and my bedroom was on fire! I thought, “Fuck!” What did that stupid bear say? Stop, drop and roll? Or is that for forest fires?

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→ 17 CommentsCategories:jeffrey-ism, jinxed

No luck, row-lockApril 15th, 2007, 2 Comments

My instructor suddenly shouted, “Someone has been playing with my dinghy!” Doesn’t that sound rude?

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→ 2 CommentsCategories:jeffrey-ism, jinxed

Vonnegut-tedApril 12th, 2007, 5 Comments

Such a sad year. First Molly Ivins, now Kurt Vonnegut. I’m gutted. I didn’t even know he was alive! I feel guilty.

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→ 5 CommentsCategories:american-ism, jeffrey-ism, memory, patriotism