I am a snob. I am an American snob. This post is about the difference between American English and New Zealand English, which are bastardized versions of British English1. I don’t mind, because bastards are interesting2.
So, if you were born in India, the United Kingdom, South Africa, Canada, Australia, Ireland or New Zealand, remember I say words like aluminum and zucchini whereas you say aluminium and courgette3. Now, the first verb:
Note, this is a verb. It can be used as a noun (like chicken feed), but first and foremost, it is a verb. For example, I want to feed the baby. I need to feed the cows. Should we feed the fish? Yet somewhere, somehow, some Kiwi butchered this verb and said:
Are you hungry? Let’s have a feed.
How irritating. But, it is listed as a noun in the American Heritage Dictionary (you’re lucky this time). Now, the second verb:
Again, this is a verb. Note the infinitive. For example, I want to sleep. The dog is sleeping. Yet somewhere, somehow, some Kiwi swallowed this verb and a day or two later (give or take) shat this:
I’m going to have a sleep.
Why! Dear God! Why would anyone say this? What’s even worse, is that they enjoy the sound this makes as it hits the water in the toilet! How vulgar! Someone, somewhere, please explain this to me! Even Google failed to offer me an explanation. I don’t know why this bothers me so much.
Maybe I need a new hobby.
1. This idea was hard to admit.
2. For example, Leonardo da Vinci and Alexander Hamilton were bastards. Even Einstein fathered an illegitimate child.
3. Courgette is terribly French, wouldn’t you say?
- american-ism (25)
- catholic-ism (9)
- guilt (7)
- code (11)
- css (6)
- jeffrey-ism (641)
- kiwi-ism (53)
- Uncategorized (11)