While walking down Cuba street I thought, “How fat do you have to be to become bulletproof?” Wouldn’t that be something! Suddenly, I heard someone say whack and something hit the back of my head. Images of armed knights on galloping horses flashed in my mind. I turned and saw the culprit sitting in a cafe window with a fork in his hand.
It was an ordinary fork, prongs to food then food to mouth, but suddenly it acquired a new, hellish aspect. I asked, “Did you just hit me with a fork?” I saw his teeth bite his tongue piercing.
My eyes moved from his face to the gentle hippies, high on organic coffee with their beady, unblinking eyes. I think they expected me to do something. Did I steal the fork from his hand and run home, like Charlie and his golden ticket? No, quite the contrary.
I said, “So. Why did you hit me?” He slouched and his eyes looked down, like a sinner in a church pew.
He looked human. I felt guilty. Damn you, nuns!
And then I apologized (don’t ask, even I don’t know why) and went to the nearest book store and bought a book, because they delight me. The book I bought is about poetry, and I think I will write a poem about the man who hit me on the back of my head with a fork. How odd!
glad you’re writing again! was it a plastic fork or a metal one?
Thanks
It was shiny metal, with bits of food clinging to each prong like squirrels do on spinning bird feeders. The prongs didn’t poke my head, only the back of the fork. It was as if he was playing tennis and took a casual backswing at me.
a pre-pubescent turkish boy threw a napkin ball at me the other day. i think im going to have to write about that now…
Was that in class? I feel like I’ve been tagged and I have to hit someone on the head with a fork.
Someone hit me on the head with a barstool once… It was all very WWF… although, I’m still at a loss as to figure out why…!
Good lord that must have hurt! Love the WWF reference, I can see you know in purple vinyl with a mask hiding your eyes, as you gather your strength to unleash playful terror on your opponent
Bloody fun | jeffrey // Jun 11, 2008 at 6:21 pm
[...] I looked up at the sky and shook my fist! They were out there somewhere! It was probably the same person who hit the back of my head with a fork. [...]